I’m Scared

David Alexander Devenport

There’s something I’m scared to say
I’ve wanted to say it since I first started my blog
But honestly
I didn’t want people to stop reading my blog
I’ll probably lose followers for saying this
People might stop talking to me
I lost my best friend in eighth grade because of this
But I’ll tell you it anyway
Because I’m tired of not being completely real

I’m gay.

It feels so weird to say it out loud
It’s kind of a forbidden subject
When I told my mom she completely flipped out
She said that she was “worried about my salvation”
She said that the internet was influencing me
And I am making bad choices
I lost my phone for a few months
I had to promise I wouldn’t give in to these “feelings”

I’m scared I won’t have a relationship with her
When I am older, grown up and married
I might lose my mom
Because I want to be me

 

I hope that you don’t stop reading my blog
Even if you don’t agree with this post
I just hope that I won’t get bullied

36 thoughts on “I’m Scared”

      1. *flips hair* yeah I know. But seriously, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. And I you really shouldn’t have to worry about being bullied that’s ridiculous. If anyone would be that judgemental it’s probably due to some fault of theirs. Don’t worry too much about what anyone thinks or says, at the end of the day the only opinion you really have to accept is your own.

        Like

  3. That’s right, live your truth. No one deserves to be afraid. Thank you for being brave and i wish you the best of luck 💛

    Like

    Reply

  4. Hey, even if I’m LDS, it ain’t my place to judge. And I can’t hold something you were born with against you.

    Who cares what your sexuality is, I’m came here to read awesome stuff and that’s what you’ve been giving me, so as long as you keep posting the awesomeness, I’ll stick around

    Like

    Reply

  5. I’ll never stop reading your blog, it’s definitely in my top 5. And if anyone is bullying you I’ll destroy them then we can watch tv and have cookie dough ice cream. Don’t be ashamed of who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. First thing- Would never stop reading your blog, even if you were a murderer…okay wait maybe if you were a murderer… but I wouldn’t stop for this.

    Second- I want you to know that the relationship with your parent(s) will get better. My older brother is gay and he felt a lot of the same things when he told my parents, but hopefully yours will realize what my parents did. That no matter what differences you have in belief, family bonds are stronger. I hope that they continue to love you for who you are and i’m sure they will. Keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. How could I ever stop following a blog that I have always looked up to from the very beginning? I was shocked by your post because what you did is really brave, but here, here is a place where you should feel safe to say things like this. I have to admit I think I love you even more for admitting this because you are being true to who you are and that is something I have always struggled with. Being gay doesn’t define you, its not a label, its simply something about you and if people through hate your way, let me know asap! because they will hear it from me! Thank you for being vulnerable, I truly look up to that.

    Like

    Reply

  9. Never going to stop reading. Never ever going to stop. I think I told you that in one of your earlier post, and I’ll say it again, as long as your posting words on this screen, I’m going to keep reading.

    Like

    Reply

  12. There will never be judgement from me. I have met far too many people who have done terrible things to themselves because they were being bullied for being gay or transgender or whatever. You have an ally in me. I will always love returning to your blog.

    Like

    Reply

  14. This is brave. If you’re bullied over this I want to know who’s doing it and how I can get in contact with them. There is no reason to look down on someone for doing something brave and learning how to be themself. Cheers to you Robert Eugene.

    Like

    Reply

  16. ## A ## (pound pound) means multiple things. Face to face it is two pounds over the heart with an open hand. On social media it is ##. It can be interpreted as “I got your back” ” I feel you” “Damn” “You got this” and “I love you”. It can also be a confidence booster when you are spilling your heart and soul and sharing something so raw, so real, so you, but the person listening is all quiet and has no clue what to say. A ## speaks volumes of love and acceptance. It’s genuine and sincere and it is an action that I use when I don’t possibly know how to explain how much you matter and how much I love you. I know you are scared, and we don’t know each other but I love you anyway. I can’t really put this in words as good as other bloggers but there is something amazing about a humans capacity to love and feel so strongly for another person. As a human being, as a person who feels so strongly that words can’t seem to describe: I love you. And now all I can type is ##

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment